Really Makes Sense

Thought these words still mean the same; I was wrong. And they make sense. Read on.

School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.
Life Insurance: A contract that keeps u poor all your life so that
you can die rich.
Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.
Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.
Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.
Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through 'the minds of either.
Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.
Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Father: A banker provided by nature.
Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.
Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise after death.

Author unknown.

Maktub!

Have You Been RAPED?!

What does it feel to be RAPEd?! Read this message from the HR Department. If you are a RAPE victim, find out the available remedies for you. Eheh.

Dear employees,

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of economy, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 40 years of age and above on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to management to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination). Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Management deems appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPED can only get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance). Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Management.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Management has always prided itself on the amount of SHIT it gives employees. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring to the attention of your Supervisor. They have been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.

Sincerely,
The Management

Received by email from Frnz.

Maktub!

Moving Thoughts

When was the last time you paused to have a moment of reflection? With so many preoccupations, we tend to forget about some of the most basic yet important things in life. Hope this could somehow help you reflect and live a better life.

Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.

When the door of happiness closes, another opens, but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one which has been opened for us.

The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they'll love you back! Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart but if it doesn't, be content it grew in yours. It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

Don't go for looks, they can deceive. Don't go for wealth, even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile.

There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real!

Dream what you want to dream, go where you want to go, be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, and enough hope to make you happy.

Always put yourself in others' shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the other person, too.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

Happiness lives for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched and those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives. Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

I am sharing this to you because you mean something to me, you have touched my life in one way or another, you made me smile when I really needed it, you made me see the brighter side of things when I was really down, and to let you know that I appreciate your friendship.



Received by email from yfc-stab yahoogroups.

Carpe diem!

Maktub!

Politics, Simplified.

Whatever political ideology you may have, you'll surely get a kick out of this!

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, 'What is Politics?'
Dad says, 'Well son, let me try to explain it this way:
I am the head of the family, so call me The President.
Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government.
We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People.
The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class.
And your baby brother, we will call him the Future.
Now think about that and see if it makes sense.'

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.
Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him.
He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper.

So the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother asleep.
Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny.
He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy say's to his father, 'Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now.'
The father says, 'Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.'
The little boy replies, 'The President is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit.

Received by email from channel_yfc yahoogroups


Oh well, perfect illustration of what Philippine Politics is!

Maktub!

Body Art

Conventionally, they are used for reproduction and urination alone. Never thought they could also be used for something else - cool masterpieces! Eheh. Take a look at these.

Sometimes I wonder if man's innovativeness is a blessing or a curse. Anyone?

Images received by email from Ate Karol.

Maktub!

Parrot Flower

A kind of flower from certain parts of the world, particularly Thailand, Myanmar and portions of East India amazed a number of people across the globe. So if you still haven't seen it, this is your chance.

This flower is known as the Parrot Flower because of its appearance which is likened to that of a parrot, a beautiful bird specie. This is just but one proof of God's untrammeled power.

Below are some photos of the magnificent Parrot Flower.

And because of the plant's rarity, owning, collecting and exporting of which (even just its seeds) have been strictly prohibited.


Amazed? So do I.



Received by email from Ate Inah.

Maktub!

Be All That You Can Be?

"Be all that you can be." This is the motto of then Rustom Padilla, a Filipino matinee idol and action star, who is now known as Bb. or Binibining (Bebe) Gandanghari.

I have heard stories about the transformation of the said actor actress artist but it was only until I have seen these photos that I had a clear idea what they were talking about.

Check these out.

Although I find transsexualism quite odd, I have nothing against it. But on second thought, why can't they just settle with their God-given gender? I'm sure God did not commit mistake when He made them. Just my two cents worth.

Images received by email from Tinny.

Maktub

After Serving Two Terms As US President, What's Next?

Now that Barack Obama formally occupies the highest seat in the US Government, what do you think will happen to former President George W. Bush?

After serving two full terms as US President, Bush is left with no other choice but to leave the Whitehouse and find a new job. So, if you have an opening, kindly contact him as soon as possible.

Caveat: Not sure though what or how much he knows. Lol.

For us Filipinos, can't wait until 2010. Hope to see her projecting also the same pose outside Malacañan Palace. And please just double the dose of the caveat should you be interested to hire her. Eheh.

Received by email from Cardz.

Maktub!

Happy Hearts' Day!

To My Friends Who Are SINGLE

Love is like a butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it eludes you. But if you just let it fly, it will come to you when you least expect it. Love can make you happy but often it hurts, but love's only special when you give it to someone who is really worth it. So take your time and choose the best.

To My Friends Who Are NOT SO SINGLE

Love isn't about becoming somebody else's 'perfect person. It's about finding someone who helps you become the best person you can be.

To My Friends Who Are PLAYBOY/GIRL TYPE

Never say 'I love you' if you don't care. Never talk about feelings if they aren't there. Never touch a life if you mean to break a heart. Never look in the eye when all you do is lie. The cruelest thing a guy can do to a girl is to let her fall in love when he doesn't intend to catch her fall and it works both ways.

To My Friends Who Are MARRIED

Love is not about 'it's your fault', but 'I'm sorry.' Not 'where are you', but 'I'm right here.' Not 'how could you', but 'I understand.' Not 'I wish you were', but 'I'm thankful you are.'

To My Friends Who Are ENGAGED

The true measure of compatibility is not the years spent together but how good you are for each other.

To My Friends Who Are HEARTBROKEN

Heartbreaks last as long as you want and cut as deep as you allow them to go. The challenge is not how to survive heartbreaks but to learn from them.

To My Friends Who Are NAIVE

How to be in love: Fall but don't stumble, be consistent but not too persistent, share and never be unfair, understand and try not to demand, and get hurt but never keep the pain.

To My Friends Who Are POSSESSIVE

It breaks your heart to see the one you love happy with someone else but it's more painful to know that the one you love is unhappy with you.

To My Friends Who Are AFRAID TO CONFESS

Love hurts when you break up with someone. It hurts even more when someone breaks up with you. But love hurts the most when the person you love has no idea how you feel.

To My Friends Who Are STILL HOLDING ON

A sad thing about life is when you meet someone and fall in love, only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be and that you have wasted years on someone who wasn't worth it. If s/he isn't worth it now, s/he's not going to be worth it a year or 10 years from now. Let go.

TO ALL MY FRIENDS:

My wish for you is a man/woman whose love is honest, strong, mature, never-changing, uplifting, protective, encouraging, rewarding and unselfish.

Received by email from Cha.

Maktub!

Valentine According to John 3:16

February is St. Valentine's month. Over time, Valentine has been closely associated to romantic love. And talking about love, do you know what's the greatest love of all? Check this out!

For God so loVed the world

that He gAve

his onLy

begottEn

SoN,

thaT whoever

believes In Him

should Not perish

but have evErlasting life.

John 3:16

Received by email from Lyn.

Maktub!